Tryptophanin'

Ah, Thanksgiving day is coming to a close and the above seems to be happening to me. I don't know how I'm going to handle the early bird shopping, but we'll have to see what happens. As night comes, I'm reveling in the realization of all that I'm thankful for. I love how the day is basically just one long prayer to everything that you are blessed with. Friends, family, just about everything comes into sharp focus with a side of delicious stuffing or maybe some cranberry compote. It's nice to know that everyone around you is taking all this into account and giving thanks for it. That is why this holiday is my favorite. You can't help but embrace all the love and sharing going on. It's what I like to give special thanks for. I'm sorry this entry will be so brief, but my bed seems to be calling my name and the turkey in my body is demanding my immediate sleep. So to everyone reading, I am thankful for you. I hope you know how blessed I am just to have you in my life. I love you and hope you had a good Thanksgiving. Goodnight, all!

Burnin' up for you, baby.

Ah, today is nearly over. Sort of, it seems so much later than it actually is, but since my day started at 6:30 a.m. this morning, it's okay.

What, might you ask, brought me from my warm and toasty bed so very early this morning? That would be Class Registration which happened to open at 7:00 a.m. so I really had no choice but to drag my bleary self to my computer to deal with 12 server crashes (Yes, 12!) and complete chaos when the sun was just barely starting to rise. Hah, I used to be a morning person. Anyway, the moral of this story is that my early bird-ness worked because I got into all the classes I wanted. The relief was so intense I couldn't go back to sleep and found out how good the breakfast is at the Cafe at 8:30 in the morning. A first for me.

But what all this means to me was also a shock that I wasn't expecting. I think I'm burned out. I mean, I've heard of college freshmen having to deal with a lot of things but, except for the heavier workload, I thought I was doing okay for myself. But as the Thanksgiving holiday quickly approaches, I realize I am far too excited for the rest and relaxation that comes with it. Signing up for these classes made me realize how very finished I am with this semester. It isn't even that I'm that fed up with my classes (which I admit I am a little bit), I really just want a change, something to break this constant go, go, go. Even on the weekends, it's all about stuffing in the same amount of time with people as I used to have so rest is a rare commodity. As the semester comes to a close, I'm almost afraid of the ecstatic feeling I'm starting to get when a professor mentions a final.

So as this extreme change of routine comes around, I feel more accepting that I have in the past then my world turning upside down. I'm ready to not be a freshmen anymore and so unbelievably thankful that I'm almost half way to that point where I'm not. And oddly enough, my focus intensifies as I've recently found out that helps with dealing with the weeks ahead. I just can't wait to spring into second semester (pun intended).

P.S. I hope you're hanging on, just like I am.

What Dreams May Come

Sidenote: My mom wouldn't let me watch that movie when I was young because she knew I'd get scared. Well, I watched it anyway and got scared. Good movie, though.

Last night, or maybe even early this morning, I had a very strange dream. First off, let me start with, I don't like dreams. They're always confusing and I can only remember parts and the parts I do remember, usually mess me up and make me feel weird for the whole day or a few days. But that's another blog entirely. In the most recent dream, I dreamt I went to my old high school to visit my favorite teacher, Ms. Conroy. I went into her class and it was a big emotional reunion type thing. She asked me if I could talk to her class about college and stuff which I did. Then she just left the dream. The bell rang and the class filed out, but Conroy wasn't there. I looked around for awhile, upset that I couldn't see her one last time, but just left, unsatisfied. That is when I woke up, completely jumbled. I hate dreams.

Also, another thing I really dislike about dreams; they always mean something, some subconscious desire or fear. I mean, as an book lover, I should love symbolism. Well, not when it comes to myself. Too weird. Well, I think I have a little bit of this dream figured out (a first for me, usually my dreams are pointless). I think this dream connects the fact that I've been quite sick for the past few days and it makes me feel like I'm back in gradeschool. Also, subconciously, I think I'm missing parts of my high school years immensely, so much they manifest in my dreams. Of course, I do miss my beloved english teacher, but I can't help but realize that she is symbolic for someone else that I'm missing so much. Everything is changing, and it's starting to feel like I didn't get that memo.

Then again, another night will come and I'll have another odd dream that will make me all confused about it. Although, I know in my heart that this dream actually revealed something. The sad part is that it's scaring me more than the worst of nightmares.

P.S. But in your dreams, whatever they may be, dream a little dream of me.

Historically Accurate

Well, it's done. We have a new president. I was sitting on the floor with a friend of mine who was too sick to go out when it all happened. I didn't realize till MSNBC cut to the crowds of people cheering in New York, Chicago, and California. My roommate called me, ecstatic, but I found myself subdued. She's always called me cynical, but I just have this feeling that this will all end in tragedy. As much as I hate for that to happen, I give the man even more credit for having the courage and the faith to lead us anyway. I like that. And hate that. But for now, I'll do what our 44th president has been asking of his country for the last year; hope. I challenge you all to do the same. Forgive me for the sparse entry, but I don't believe there's much more to say.






























P.S. I know you'll hope. It's what you're best at.