So I am currently attempting to break a 15 year old habit of biting my nails. I've tried this countless times before with no success, but for some reason I have extra hope for this most recent venture. It could be the way I'm actually trying to do it (I'm putting on liberal amounts of clear nail polish so instead of biting them, I just pick off the nail polish; gross, but it's worked so far). It could also have to do with the fact that I'm tired of having chewed up fingers and the inability to get a manicure. All in all, I think it mostly has to do with the reality that I need a better way to take out my stress and boredom. Plus I'm tired of my mom smacking my hand every time it gets near my mouth.
I suppose this whole endeavor is somewhat symbolic, as most resolutions are. They're all about change and challenging yourself to do things you wouldn't normally do, which is exactly what I am trying to do. Okay, so I'm starting small but if you know me, you realize that if I can stop biting my nails, it's kind of epic. So nails first, world peace later.
So as I pick at my finger nails and repaint them about 3 times a day (poor carson, our dorm constantly smells of nail polish), I am climbing hills and attempting the almost unreachable. Luckily, I have hope for the better. Maybe that's the whole reason for a New Year's resolution, to teach you to hope for something that you haven't even wanted to try in the past. I know I am learning quite a bit about self control (I don't know if you guys realize how intense this whole process is) and can finally look down at my hands without being slightly disgusted. Well, here's to the hope that I can change for the best and have the satisfaction of tapping my nails on something, anything.
P.S. I hope you achieve all your resolutions, whatever they may be.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Procrastination Station: Destination Emmatown!
Okay, let me begin with an incredibly sincere apology to the waves of people reading this. I am really, really sorry that I have let this blog fall through the cracks. It was never my intention, and I hope none of you were offended by my delay of a new post.
Haha, no, but seriously. I am sorry. Being at home was rather...uninspiring as another blogger I know so eloquently put. I mean, it was a very heavily needed break, but as I spent most of the month on my couch watching HBO movies over and over again, all the while deciding whether I could go that third day without washing my hair, I didn't think many of that needed to put in an entry. It did have its ups and downs, but what event in life doesn't? There were even times where being back with everyone was truly surreal and borderline unbearable. In the end, though it turned out to be exactly what I needed. A touch of perspective and a huge anticipation to return helped the days go by and lead my back to where I am now, literally and figuratively. But more to the point, people had to suffer for my lack of posts which is why I hope to make amends tonight and hopefully put up a valid enough report on what has been going on in my day to day life.
So classes started again, a full WEEK before most people had to go back, but luckily, I've chosen not to dwell on that and just accept the fact that I am jumping headlong into my spring semester of my freshmen year. It started out rocky, like many things in life, but it evened out enough that I could see the potential in everything that is going on. I feel myself on that track that everyone is always talking about, just riding along, taking everything that the Lord decides to throw on it. A close friend told a story the other day about how having a willing heart led her the right way, and I've been trying to do the same this week as classes begin and realize an 8 a.m. math class isn't for me. Ah, it helps having someone to rely on through everything and anything.
But as for the rest of the on-goings of my life, not much has happened. I envied those who got to stay longer at home, but then I realized it's a holiday weekend so I'm going home in two days, so it turns out to not be a dilemma at all. I don't know what to say really, except that I think everything that seem so jumbled just a few days ago had a new light shone on it with my leaving town. So I think I'll just take everything as it is and really hope for the best. I know I'm in good hands. Hope you'll all stay tuned to see how it all turns out.
P.S. It's really good to know you're right next to me on this train called Life.
Haha, no, but seriously. I am sorry. Being at home was rather...uninspiring as another blogger I know so eloquently put. I mean, it was a very heavily needed break, but as I spent most of the month on my couch watching HBO movies over and over again, all the while deciding whether I could go that third day without washing my hair, I didn't think many of that needed to put in an entry. It did have its ups and downs, but what event in life doesn't? There were even times where being back with everyone was truly surreal and borderline unbearable. In the end, though it turned out to be exactly what I needed. A touch of perspective and a huge anticipation to return helped the days go by and lead my back to where I am now, literally and figuratively. But more to the point, people had to suffer for my lack of posts which is why I hope to make amends tonight and hopefully put up a valid enough report on what has been going on in my day to day life.
So classes started again, a full WEEK before most people had to go back, but luckily, I've chosen not to dwell on that and just accept the fact that I am jumping headlong into my spring semester of my freshmen year. It started out rocky, like many things in life, but it evened out enough that I could see the potential in everything that is going on. I feel myself on that track that everyone is always talking about, just riding along, taking everything that the Lord decides to throw on it. A close friend told a story the other day about how having a willing heart led her the right way, and I've been trying to do the same this week as classes begin and realize an 8 a.m. math class isn't for me. Ah, it helps having someone to rely on through everything and anything.
But as for the rest of the on-goings of my life, not much has happened. I envied those who got to stay longer at home, but then I realized it's a holiday weekend so I'm going home in two days, so it turns out to not be a dilemma at all. I don't know what to say really, except that I think everything that seem so jumbled just a few days ago had a new light shone on it with my leaving town. So I think I'll just take everything as it is and really hope for the best. I know I'm in good hands. Hope you'll all stay tuned to see how it all turns out.
P.S. It's really good to know you're right next to me on this train called Life.
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