Today is my mother's birthday. She turns 21 today, which seems odd, since her oldest daughter is about to turn 23. Oh, well, let's not look too closely at that :)
Anyway, this post is not dedicated to my mother. It's dedicated to the all the amazing and wonderful things she's given me; all the love and lessons she's bestowed over my nineteen years, that without, I could not survive to see my 2oth birthday. This post is for all the times I have belligerently realized how right and smart my mother was, while still stubbornly disagreeing. This post is for every time I had unthinkingly reached for the phone because there is no other true solution besides than asking my mother. Truly, this post is for every time I have thanked my lucky, lucky stars I have a blessing so great as my mother.
Sure, we fight, my mother and me. We fight, we cry, we yell, we insult, and we hurt. But not as often (anymore...). Now, as I've grown up, the things I've learned that I cannot live without are how we laugh, we talk, we banter, we learn, we gossip, we joke, we enjoy and above all else, times a million, how we love. I'm sure, dramatically, that I could NOT go on without her love. It is the single most important reassurance I need when things are too tough, too impossible, and too frustrating.
There are things about my mother that I have, at times, taken for granted and at times, I have thanked the Lord aloud for; her countless talents, her seemingly endless wisdom, and her near perfect patience, to name a few. There are the things that she has taught me, the things she is still teaching me, and the things I can only hope and pray to have her teach me in the future. Without everything she has given me, I would basically be that weird kid, eating paste in the corner.
But the bottom line to this small tribute to my mother is that, at the end of the day, knowing that she is in my corner is what allows me to continue on to the next day. Her love and approval is what I seek more than anything in my life, with everything I do. If it weren't for the truly great women that I call my mom, there is little that I would be able to accomplish. What I am trying to say, as always, with too many words is, Mom, I love you. Pretty much more than anything. And happy birthday :)
P.S. Because in my heart and with my mouth, I could never say it enough, thank you.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Yikes!
My.Allergies!!!!!
That is the highlight of my day and I'm thinking my week. I am currently incredibly incapacitated on my couch watching TV because there is a (sorry, this is gross) river of fluid flowing out of my nose, eyes, and mouth. It is disgusting and all because I had my windows down while driving around San Marcos. WHAT IS THAT? Anyway, it literally got so bad, I had to beg a friend to bring me lotioned tissues and benadryl because I was completely out of both and was afraid a sudden sneezing fit would be my demise if I attempted to drive. Therefore, I was on my death bed, using napkins against my poor nose and just wandering around my apartment, wondering about my bad luck.
So, complaining aside, I am very comfortably back in my apartment after a semi-smooth transition back to San Marcos after a long winter break. I say semi- because it was a very strange experience leaving home. Being the extremist that I am, I was torn by two emotions so strongly, it threw my off for a long time. Half of me was ecstatic, so excited about leaving, I had my suitcase packed a full week before I had to leave (which was more than a hassle as I had to keep pulling stuff out of it) while the other half was hesitant, unsure of the next few steps enough to make me want to stay not only in my house, but in my bed and attempt to hide from the world. Luckily, I seemed to have found a balance between the two extremes as I am very content, despite wanting to hack out my sinuses.
Of course, it wouldn't be my life without a healthy dose of stress. A particular stressful moment occurred this morning as I was finishing up packing, when I checked my e-mail, only to receive a message from the Registrar's office saying that I had been dropped from all of my classes, due to lack of payment. I immediately panicked, checked everything I could, only to find that I had in fact paid (which I knew I had). Nonetheless, I was stilled dropped from my classes and pretty much stuck. After approximately 4 minutes of mad internet searching, one crazed phone call and a desperate email response, I just calmly put it on the back burner, as there is nothing that can be done until Monday anyway. Besides that, I know that it will get fixed and since I wasn't that attached to any of my classes, I decided that this particular stressed out incident, which this morning seemed like a crash barrier, was more like a suburban speed bump and shouldn't give me an unnecessary headache. Of course, there was still a tightness in my chest and I still checked my email every 5 minutes to see if the Registrar had responded, but otherwise, I am become very zen about all of this. Can you believe it!?
Besides that, I am still fairly excited to start this semester despite its various hardships. Hah, again, my life seems to happen, as I will unfortunately have to start it without a good friend of mine who has decided to go to a different school, since it seems to be the easier, less stressful option. Which, in a word, sucks. This person helped me through a particular trouble involving another friend, a situation that has yet to be resolved, but now again I am on my own. As complicated as that seems, I still think it's for the best and most definitely happened for a reason, even if it's hard to see right about now. Regardless, the pleasure of starting fresh and new is alive and well in this allergy-ridden girl and I cannot wait to sit in my classes, even if I have no idea what they may be.
Okay, the benadryl is kicking in and my warm bed is calling, even if my nasal passages are protesting. I think it is time for me to head to sleep. I promise to update again soon, if my allergies haven't killed me yet. Love to all and prayers for even more :)
P.S. Don't worry. If you miss me, just remember that I miss you much, much more.
That is the highlight of my day and I'm thinking my week. I am currently incredibly incapacitated on my couch watching TV because there is a (sorry, this is gross) river of fluid flowing out of my nose, eyes, and mouth. It is disgusting and all because I had my windows down while driving around San Marcos. WHAT IS THAT? Anyway, it literally got so bad, I had to beg a friend to bring me lotioned tissues and benadryl because I was completely out of both and was afraid a sudden sneezing fit would be my demise if I attempted to drive. Therefore, I was on my death bed, using napkins against my poor nose and just wandering around my apartment, wondering about my bad luck.
So, complaining aside, I am very comfortably back in my apartment after a semi-smooth transition back to San Marcos after a long winter break. I say semi- because it was a very strange experience leaving home. Being the extremist that I am, I was torn by two emotions so strongly, it threw my off for a long time. Half of me was ecstatic, so excited about leaving, I had my suitcase packed a full week before I had to leave (which was more than a hassle as I had to keep pulling stuff out of it) while the other half was hesitant, unsure of the next few steps enough to make me want to stay not only in my house, but in my bed and attempt to hide from the world. Luckily, I seemed to have found a balance between the two extremes as I am very content, despite wanting to hack out my sinuses.
Of course, it wouldn't be my life without a healthy dose of stress. A particular stressful moment occurred this morning as I was finishing up packing, when I checked my e-mail, only to receive a message from the Registrar's office saying that I had been dropped from all of my classes, due to lack of payment. I immediately panicked, checked everything I could, only to find that I had in fact paid (which I knew I had). Nonetheless, I was stilled dropped from my classes and pretty much stuck. After approximately 4 minutes of mad internet searching, one crazed phone call and a desperate email response, I just calmly put it on the back burner, as there is nothing that can be done until Monday anyway. Besides that, I know that it will get fixed and since I wasn't that attached to any of my classes, I decided that this particular stressed out incident, which this morning seemed like a crash barrier, was more like a suburban speed bump and shouldn't give me an unnecessary headache. Of course, there was still a tightness in my chest and I still checked my email every 5 minutes to see if the Registrar had responded, but otherwise, I am become very zen about all of this. Can you believe it!?
Besides that, I am still fairly excited to start this semester despite its various hardships. Hah, again, my life seems to happen, as I will unfortunately have to start it without a good friend of mine who has decided to go to a different school, since it seems to be the easier, less stressful option. Which, in a word, sucks. This person helped me through a particular trouble involving another friend, a situation that has yet to be resolved, but now again I am on my own. As complicated as that seems, I still think it's for the best and most definitely happened for a reason, even if it's hard to see right about now. Regardless, the pleasure of starting fresh and new is alive and well in this allergy-ridden girl and I cannot wait to sit in my classes, even if I have no idea what they may be.
Okay, the benadryl is kicking in and my warm bed is calling, even if my nasal passages are protesting. I think it is time for me to head to sleep. I promise to update again soon, if my allergies haven't killed me yet. Love to all and prayers for even more :)
P.S. Don't worry. If you miss me, just remember that I miss you much, much more.
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