You do what you can.

So I thought it wise to write a quick blog before I go into the self-induced study coma for finals. That is at the top of the list of madness that seems to love to take part of my life. But it's almost a relief to know I have to ignore half of everything and just focus on the tumultuous tasks ahead. It's almost a surreal experience to already be scheduling study times when it feels like the semester started yesterday. I can clearly remember move in day and yet here I sit 3 and half months later.

Tonight at dinner, a friend of mine was talking about how we're just about half way finished with our freshmen year. It seems to be flying by and it seems to be scaring me more than I think it should. Of course, I can almost see everyone reading this and shaking their heads who have gone through this already and call me foolish, but it really feels like this is all happening too fast. It's not just classes and everything, which I have a surprisingly firm grip on. It's also all this change that seems to be happening to me. A good friend of mine and I were talking over this thanksgiving break and she was telling me about how much she's grown as a person over these few months and I realized that I was in the same boat. Some might not be able to tell (I didn't until she mentioned it), but I am not the same person I was when I first came here.

I suppose I've sort of known as it happens. Whenever I would hang out with friends, I started noticing I wasn't really having fun, and was almost bored with everything going on. I couldn't really figure out why what had satisfied me over the summer and before wasn't cutting it for me now. This break was an excellent example of what I hadn't realized I was looking for; amazing company, even better conversation, and just having the chance to be with people I loved that loved me without having to worry about drama or other pointless ventures.

Of course, this is all still transitional. I'm still the very silly, weird kid that I hope you all know and love. It just so happens that I'm growing up a little and finding myself very thankful to certain people for letting me know that it's okay to do so. I really hope that's okay with everyone and that maybe you're seeing the changes too.

I also hope this blog offers enough to last awhile since I most likely won't have time to do another for a few weeks. Thank you, final exams. I am thinking of you all and hope you think of me as well as I fight my way through my first bout of college finals. It will an intense battle, one I cannot wait to be over with.

P.S. Since I know I don't say it enough, thank you. For everything. I love you.