I think, I think this is what it feels like to bite off more than you can chew. I do believe this is what being overwhelmed feels like. Hear me out.
It's become a night and day kind of deal that I'm emailing my officers, texting Student Foundation members, finishing papers, studying, endless studying, and searching for the ever evasive down time. I literally went to go pick up my roommate 20 minutes early the other day just so I could sit in my car by myself and do nothing. I know, it's weird, but this is what it's come to.
Classes are laughably impossible, extra-curriculars are starting to drown me and I drink so much coffee, my hands are always shaking. My advisor/professor/savior is constantly asking me if I'm okay because I seem a little stressed and I either manically laugh or just brush it off, depending on whether or not I'm looking at my to-do list.
Alright, whining aside, I think I really like this. Sure, I've tried to get out of every major events I've been asked to attend, I had to buy a blazer and had my first day off in weeks yesterday, but there's still that thrill of perpetually moving, being the one in charge and learning learning learning every day. I'm excited for the changes that are directly because of me, for the events in which I will meet the cream of the crop. I'm friends with some of the most important people on campus, am one of those people not to toot my own horn.
Of course, it figures that my best year will be my last at Texas State, but I don't care. Besides having little time to think about graduation and life post-undergrad, I just can't focus on the future right now, as ostrich-sticking-head-in-the-sand as that is. The reality is that my present is too fun, too exhausting and too demanding to worry about what will come in May. So as I finish up a Spanish composition and field questions about who is bringing the sodas to the Comm Club meeting tomorrow and organizing a study session for Rhetorical Criticism, I revel in what my days are filled with and just enjoy the ride.
2 comments:
I think horn tooting can be a very good thing! nicely done my dear...
Every. single. blog. post makes me so proud of you. my heart is bursting with love. That said, down time is important. Personally, "overwhelmed" is a key word that gets me to put on my running shoes and just go running (or some exercise). Clearing your mind in those stress times is suuuper important. It makes your plate bigger, I swear- meaning you can do more:)
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