Whoa, Blogger totally changed their format. Cool.
Okay, so I've come to the decision that as of July 8th (I think that's the right date) I won't continue on with this blog. I started it the night before my first day of class freshmen year, so I think it's fitting to finish it on the last day of class of my undergraduate-ness.
This will be something I miss, probably more than a lot of things, but it, like all those things, must come to an end. Here's a list of what those things are:
-Getting veryyy creative with food to make a meal and being perfectly okay with it. Examples: pasta 18,000 ways with a side of cereal.
-Getting veryyy sneaky with my roommate's food. (She'll never notice if I just eat a little bit...)
-Giving myself the day off like every other day. (I worked really hard yesterday, I deserve to take it easy).
-Living literally day to day, sometimes hour to hour given the amount of work I have.
-Thinking a year as August to May.
-Never ever knowing what the day will bring, even if I've planned it down to the second.
-The campus shuttle. I am probably the only person who LOVES riding the bus.
-Knowing at any given moment where the closest place with a cup of coffee is.
-San Marcos. Every day I love it a little more.
-Writing blogs while procrastinating papers.
-Running into someone I know at every single place I go in San Marcos. (Okay, maybe not...)
-Having something HUGE in common with 30,000 people. Bobcat pride, ya'll
-The social acceptability to wear headphones all the time.
-The fact that my friends and classmates find it perfectly acceptable to call/text/email at any given time of the night.
-My itsy-bitsy apartment.
-Being surrounded all the time by people my age, doing what I'm doing (Again, maybe not...)
-I promise this one is real: going to class. (By the far the most fulfilling thing I do).
-Also real: homework. Despite the moaning and groaning, it's something to do and I like it.
-The ability to do just about anything to not do that beloved homework. (sure it won't fade, but it won't be the same).
-Being in a mile radius of some of my good friends.
-Professors. It's strange to think there are people in real life whose job it is to teach you how to do something.
-Being a college student. I will probably miss that more than anything else. It's the very best.
Whew. I think that's all I need to say in this post. The next 17 days should be interesting.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
When the World Stops Spinning
There's a new show on HBO, called Girls, and it's about these young twenty-something's living in New York City after college and the antics that make up their broke, exciting existences. The main character, a 24 year old intern at publishing house who has an extensive vocabulary, tattoo's of childrens' book characters, and an English degree. Minus the tattoos, she's who I could be in 2 years.
Look, I get that my degree(s) are mostly pointless, that I will spend a whole lot of time figuring out what I want to do with my life then actually going and doing it. I have spent 4+ years defending the choice to have a major in something that does not guarantee a job ever, let alone a job right out of college. I don't actually relish in the idea of being poor, working in retail/food service, while being able to quote Shakespeare, Joyce, or Austen. That's why I double-majored.
So the answer the dagger-like question I get more than anything (what will you do after graduation) has become a simple one: I will figure it out. I'll look for a job, I'll get an internship, I'll work hard, I'll make contacts, have interviews, and probably spend a lot of time getting rejected and failing. I haven't the slightest idea what I want to do. But then again, does anyone really know?
Because as I sit on my bed, with hundreds of books staring back at me, all I want to do is pull one off the shelf and read it. That's the answer. I want to read. Unfortunately, few people make a living off of this so I'm back to square one. But I will figure it out. Or I won't. Either way, I'll be fine. When school ends in precious few weeks, I'll figure it out.
Look, I get that my degree(s) are mostly pointless, that I will spend a whole lot of time figuring out what I want to do with my life then actually going and doing it. I have spent 4+ years defending the choice to have a major in something that does not guarantee a job ever, let alone a job right out of college. I don't actually relish in the idea of being poor, working in retail/food service, while being able to quote Shakespeare, Joyce, or Austen. That's why I double-majored.
So the answer the dagger-like question I get more than anything (what will you do after graduation) has become a simple one: I will figure it out. I'll look for a job, I'll get an internship, I'll work hard, I'll make contacts, have interviews, and probably spend a lot of time getting rejected and failing. I haven't the slightest idea what I want to do. But then again, does anyone really know?
Because as I sit on my bed, with hundreds of books staring back at me, all I want to do is pull one off the shelf and read it. That's the answer. I want to read. Unfortunately, few people make a living off of this so I'm back to square one. But I will figure it out. Or I won't. Either way, I'll be fine. When school ends in precious few weeks, I'll figure it out.
Monday, April 2, 2012
And It Feels Like I Am Just Too Close
A whole lot of nothing.
I made out a schedule of the projects, papers, and various assignments due before April 3oth (our last day of class). It's insane, but regardless, there are a mere 4 weeks until my immediate demise, also known as the end of school.
Well, I keep saying that but then I have another two weeks of equal insanity, including finals, graduation, and enough hanging out with friends that I probably won't see on a regular basis ever again to last me a lifetime.
Enough? No, not me! I also registered for my summer classes today! Yes, I am two classes behind having a double degree so while I am participating in the graduation in May, I am not technically a college graduate until I have made the grueling 4 hours a day, five days a week, most intensive classes of my career.
Why do I do this to myself? I had a conversation with one of my best friends earlier today and we talked about our day and what we have this week and normal chitchat, but we both ended up laughing hysterically because there is just too much! We hung up the phone, both wiping the tears and with some chuckles because we do know why. It's the same reason anyone does anything that is too ridiculous for words: good or bad, it's because we love it. Yes, it's unhealthy the amount of coffee I consume or the amount of dinners I've had that make up peanut butter and saltines. Sure, I should get a more balanced sleep schedule, not consisting of having an alarm for 6 a.m., 9 a.m. or 10:45, given the day. Undoubtedly, I should find an easier way to do my work, between being weeks ahead of schedule or literally running to the professor's office to meet the deadline.
But hey, it's (somewhat) worked for the last 4 years so why fix what ain't broke!
What has worked is how much my love for this stressful and mad schedule that I call my life is. Good golly, there is a lot I won't miss about being an undergraduate here. But as the question of "What will you do after," becomes more and more frequent, and no less scary, I'm starting to become less sad, less stressed, less concerned about the little things. It's okay that I'm being phased out, because I'm phasing myself out just as much. This is probably the first change in my entire life that I'm so aware of that I am accepting, with both hands and a full heart.
Whew. I can do this.
I made out a schedule of the projects, papers, and various assignments due before April 3oth (our last day of class). It's insane, but regardless, there are a mere 4 weeks until my immediate demise, also known as the end of school.
Well, I keep saying that but then I have another two weeks of equal insanity, including finals, graduation, and enough hanging out with friends that I probably won't see on a regular basis ever again to last me a lifetime.
Enough? No, not me! I also registered for my summer classes today! Yes, I am two classes behind having a double degree so while I am participating in the graduation in May, I am not technically a college graduate until I have made the grueling 4 hours a day, five days a week, most intensive classes of my career.
Why do I do this to myself? I had a conversation with one of my best friends earlier today and we talked about our day and what we have this week and normal chitchat, but we both ended up laughing hysterically because there is just too much! We hung up the phone, both wiping the tears and with some chuckles because we do know why. It's the same reason anyone does anything that is too ridiculous for words: good or bad, it's because we love it. Yes, it's unhealthy the amount of coffee I consume or the amount of dinners I've had that make up peanut butter and saltines. Sure, I should get a more balanced sleep schedule, not consisting of having an alarm for 6 a.m., 9 a.m. or 10:45, given the day. Undoubtedly, I should find an easier way to do my work, between being weeks ahead of schedule or literally running to the professor's office to meet the deadline.
But hey, it's (somewhat) worked for the last 4 years so why fix what ain't broke!
What has worked is how much my love for this stressful and mad schedule that I call my life is. Good golly, there is a lot I won't miss about being an undergraduate here. But as the question of "What will you do after," becomes more and more frequent, and no less scary, I'm starting to become less sad, less stressed, less concerned about the little things. It's okay that I'm being phased out, because I'm phasing myself out just as much. This is probably the first change in my entire life that I'm so aware of that I am accepting, with both hands and a full heart.
Whew. I can do this.
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